Tragic Saga
by Ballyhoobeast
Summary: Legolas thought the Tenth Walker he was dating was another Mary Sue . Unfortunately for him , she wasn't . This Saga tells the dramatic story of how she consistently ruined his life . Rated T for violence and woeful tragedy.
1. chapter 1

Chapter One - A Killer Girlfriend's Dream

Disclaimer - I don't own anything except my action figures and my dreams .

 _Galadrisfedoraconversa and her boyfriend , Legolas , were strolling through the forest . It was a beautiful day , the sun was shinning , the birds were singing , and the couple was holding hands like cute couples do. As they were walking , an ugly hag passed by them slowly ._

 _She screamed loudly , dragging her stick through the dirt . Actually , it wasn't_ _a scream , but her throat clearing sounded much the same . She laughed at them , a laugh that could have belonged to a Nazgul , and began to speak with her high pitched , raspy voice ._

 _"You two better leave this forest , or you will be in grave danger !"_

 _She then proceeded to vanish , leaving Galadrisfedoraconversa to stare at her boyfriend with squinted eyes . Galadrisfedoraconversa then proceeded to slap her boyfriend . She felt no remorse , however , for she realized it was just a dream . She could do whatever she wanted ._

 _"I knew I shouldn't have dated you ! This happens to all of the Mary Sues you date ! This is probably some dream about my angst filled past , or vision about our future ."_

 _Legolas looked up at her with the expression of an abused puppy . There was nothing intelligent he could muster, since he was in someone's dream , so his mouth repeated his brain's defense phrases ._

 _"I would die for you !"_

 _Unfortunately for his dream self , he did . A bolt of lightening coincedently struck him down in the chest and he died . It was tragic , but Galadrisfedoraconversa just smiled ._

 _" Ha ha ha ! He thought I was a Mary Sue just because I like puppies and I have nice hair like him ! I'm actually a serial killer with magical powers ! Ha !"_

 _She danced around the forest like Tom Bombadil , and was as happy as Bob Ross painting . Legolas was scandalized in his grave and appeared , with his bow slung over his shoulder ._

 _"Lego...you're...you ."_

 _Everything went black ._

Galadrisfedoraconversa woke up . She had just had a dream that she was a serial killer and that her boyfriend died . It was rather confusing . She looked over to Legolas , and smiled . She really was a sweet Mary Sue . Or was she ?

As she opened a package of Lembas bread , there was an evil glint in her eye . Legolas was too easy to trick .


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two - Backstory !

Author's Note: Thanks y'all for the reviews, they were very encouraging and helpful! Next one to comment will win a free date with Burton Guster from Pysch!

This is the backstory of Galadrisfedoraconversa. She wasn't your typical character, and if you dared to tell her that, I'm not sure WHAT would happen to you. You may wonder where she is from. She is from a dark jungle in Southern Middle Earth. That is all I know about the place.They wanted to send a representative to the Council of Elrond , and she was a skilled warrior. They also wanted to get rid of her ...

She was one of the worst types of people. She was a serial killer in the sense that she loved to kill souls. For her, life was a game that she had to win. Every rule and law was an opponent clamoring his swords, daring her to break him. And break him she would.

She considered it an art form. She loved to find something perfect and true and then crush it, twist it, ruin it. That's why she tricked Legolas into becoming her boyfriend. He was her next target. You may wonder why she was such a cruel, frozen hearted woman.The truth is this ...

I have absolutely no idea. From the day she was born, she did everything in her power to _be_ the most powerful, to be the most skilled, to be the most gorgeous, to be the wickedest most dangerous thing alive. And boy, she was. Her weapons consisted of a brass knuckle, two lightweight sicklswords, her gymnastic skills, and her mind. She had mastered human and elvish psychology, and even hypnosis. She would have made an excellent spy, for her acting and observation abilities were also exceptional. She was, as a whole, a weapon of mass destruction.

You may wonder, how on earth could Legolas have fallen for her? The truth is...

I have no idea for that, either. See, the truth is, _I_ don't know a thing about elvish psychology, but she did, and she was able to sway him, and ruin his life.

She made him miserable for the rest of his life.


	3. Legolas Has A Dream Too

Chapter Three - Legolas Has Dream Too

Disclaimer : I'm not Tolkien, I'm way too Southern.

"Honeeyyy," whispered Galadrisfedoraconversa sweetly . "Wake up. I need you to try my new Lembas recipe."

It was early morning, and definitely not a beautiful one. The sky was dark gray, the crows were making ghastly sounds, and the humidity levels were messing up everyone's hair. Everyone's hair, even Legolas's.

"Alright," he replied in his ever composed voice.

"Here you go," said Galadrisfedoraconversa as she cheerfully handed him the way bread. Little did he know how much pain that poisoned cracker would cause him. Galadrisfedoraconversa was not a Keebler elf.

Ten minutes later, he passed out.

 _He was sleeping. In his dream, he was running from something. He didn't know what, for he couldn't see it. However, he did hear the trees speaking to him, yelling out, "Run,Forest,run!"_

 _He stumbled on and on. He turned to the right to continue on the next path, when...WHAM. He ran into a tree, and shuffled backwards . He couldn't remember there being a tree on the path, at least not in this spot. But the tree was real, and his side was hurting immensely._

 _"Great. I've broken a rib. Gimli will never let me live this down."_

 _"I know I won't," said Galadrisfedoraconversa in his dream . She grappled a frying pan, hit him in the head. That quickly knocked him out ,_ and he woke up in


	4. Something Is Wrong

Chapter Four - Something is Wrong

Legolas woke up vomiting violently. It was another gray day, and the chilly air bit him as he wrapped his cloak tightly around his shoulders.

"Why did I throw up?" As an elf, he NEVER got sick. This was a very strange occurrence, and he still felt very nauseous.

"Oh dear, and you have dark lines under your eyes!" Commented Galadrisfedoraconversa.

Legolas gasped. He NEVER looked less than perfect. Something terrible was truly going on.

Gimli let out a bit of a giggle. "Alright, laddie? This reminds of the time my nephew took a goat's horn to the gut. He didn't handle it well, either."

"I'm fine, really I am," he exclaimed, trying to compose his voice. "Let's continue on with the mission! To Mordor we go! Over hill and under hill, over mountain, under valley, through river, we shall travel with no fear of twilight nor midnight, nor Prince Tevildo himself!

The Prince of Cats would have been a kinder fiend than Galadrisfedoraconversa of The Southern Isles. They journeyed on and on till they reached Cadarahs the Cruel, and climbed up it.

Naturally, the snow was tough and bitter to tread through. Usually, however, Legolas would have managed it well, skipping over it singing and teasing the others, who were more heavy footed. But that day, Legolas trudged like the rest, the cold bothering him. The cold had NEVER bothered him before.

Galadrisfedoraconversa, on the other hand, danced through it merrily.

"You seem bothered, my dear Legolas?"

"Yes, well, there is a foul voice on the air."

It was none other than the voice of Saruman cursing them, but of course of you knew that. You probably knew that because you either watched the movies, read the books, heard a friend lecturing many hours on it, or all three. So, you may also know that their little detour over the freezing mountain was futile, and they climbed back down, where they would go _through_ another mountain.

The Mines Of Moria, where even the fell Balrog that dwelled there trembled at the sight of Galadrisfedoraconversa.


	5. Something Is Wrong (01-28 11:05:00)

Chapter Four - Something is Wrong

Legolas woke up vomiting violently. It was another gray day, and the chilly air bit him as he wrapped his cloak tightly around his shoulders.

"Why did I throw up?" As an elf, he NEVER got sick. This was a very strange occurrence, and he still felt very nauseous.

"Oh dear, and you have dark lines under your eyes!" Commented Galadrisfedoraconversa.

Legolas gasped. He NEVER looked less than perfect. Something terrible was truly going on.

Gimli let out a bit of a giggle. "Alright, laddie? This reminds of the time my nephew took a goat's horn to the gut. He didn't handle it well, either."

"I'm fine, really I am," he exclaimed, trying to compose his voice. "Let's continue on with the mission! To Mordor we go! Over hill and under hill, over mountain, under valley, through river, we shall travel with no fear of twilight nor midnight, nor Prince Tevildo himself!

The Prince of Cats would have been a kinder fiend than Galadrisfedoraconversa of The Southern Isles. They journeyed on and on till they reached Cadarahs the Cruel, and climbed up it.

Naturally, the snow was tough and bitter to tread through. Usually, however, Legolas would have managed it well, skipping over it singing and teasing the others, who were more heavy footed. But that day, Legolas trudged like the rest, the cold bothering him. The cold had NEVER bothered him before.

Galadrisfedoraconversa, on the other hand, danced through it merrily.

"You seem bothered, my dear Legolas?"

"Yes, well, there is a foul voice on the air."

It was none other than the voice of Saruman cursing them, but of course of you knew that. You probably knew that because you either watched the movies, read the books, heard a friend lecturing many hours on it, or all three. So, you may also know that their little detour over the freezing mountain was futile, and they climbed back down, where they would go _through_ another mountain.

The Mines Of Moria, where even the fell Balrog that dwelled there trembled at the sight of Galadrisfedoraconversa.


	6. An Anxient Octopus

Chapter Five - An Ancient Octopus

Authors note: I may have accidentally pulblished the same chapter twice. Please forgive me, I am not good with technology. Also, the next one to comment will get a pink sparkly unicorn! How does that sound?

The Fellowship stood in front of the doors the mines of Moria. Every member wanted to do something different, but wouldn't dare say it out loud. Instead, they just patiently waited for Gandalf to figure out the password.

Gandalf wanted to figure out the password, Boromire wanted to go through the Gap of Rohan, Aragon wanted to grab everyone's cloak and wrap it around his freezing shoulders, Gimli wanted to get to the feasting and drinking in Moria, Pippin wanted to go swimming in the small pond right beside them, Merry wanted to shove Pippin into the small pond right beside them, Frodo wanted to put on the ring, Sam wanted to ride off with Bill the pony, Legolas wanted to try that snowy mountain again, and Galadrisfedoraconversa wanted to get to whatever was on the other side of that door.

She had learned to recognize an abandoned mountain when she saw one. Or, not entirely abandoned, but infested with orcs and the like. She also knew that a pond was not a good sign. When Aragon stopped Pippin from throwing more rocks into the water, she smiled. He was smarter than she made him out to be. There had to something nasty in there. She used to travel often to the southern coast and explore dark caves in coves and find all sorts of unsavory creatures.

Unsavory creatures in that part of the world were hardly documented, for they were not easy to find. Those that found them had traveled to some dark, forsaken place, and would rarely ever return. Unsavory creatures are dangerous and do not like enabling people to spread the tale of their monstrous appearances. They do not suffer explorers to live.

Frodo finally helped Gandalf to figure out the password, distracting his mind from the dreadful ring. They then waltzed in, Gimli grinnning with excitement, ready to see his long lost kinfolk. It only took a moment for the grin to fade. There were dwarvish skeletons scattered all across the dusty floor, their skulls bearing the expression of panic and hopelessness.

Some of the corpses were holding up their axes in a futile attempt to stave off death. They had been laying there, grasping their weapons desperately for at least a decade. Their bones were wrapped in cob webs and remnants of clothing that were threadbare with decay, and largely consumed by moths.

"This is a tomb!"exclaimed Boromir.

It was a tomb, one carefully guarded by a monster. As the entrance door slowly closed, and Gimli wept over the fallen, a snake like thing from the water appeared close to them. Seven more snake like things rose. They were actually more like massive, long, slimy arms, with a head to follow.

The head was terrifying, with too many eyes and a beak for a mouth. A _beak_ , like on a _bird_. However, this was no bird, this was a deadly sea monster.

It didn't take long for the monster to start attacking them, and Galadrisfedoraconversa quickly unsheathed her sharp sickles. When one of the arms got to close to her, she simply sliced through it, chopping the flesh like a chef chops raw salmon. The team was doing a sufficient job of defending themselves, till the horrid creature grabbed Frodo.

Frodo. They would have hated to lose anyone in the Fellowship, but Frodo was the _ring bearer._ The whole Fellowshio was built around protecting him and helping get to Mordor and destroy the ring. The fate of the _world_ depended on it. That was mostly everyone's mindset, except Galadrisfedoraconversa. She was pretty much just there for the ride.

I'll admit to you that she actually had no hate for Sauron. In fact, if he had offered her a job, she would have taken it. She would have not mind being an orc battalion commander. When it came to this ordeal, she simply chose a side. None of it was personal, she literally flipped a coin and journeyed to the Council of Elrond. Of course, she would have stayed home, but her neighbors forced her to leave...

She shuddered as she remembered all that happened to her back at home...,


	7. More Backstory

Author's note: grab three cartons of eggs at Kroger, and some bacon. What, not that kind of note. Sorry this chapter is so short, but first to comment will win a date with Cary Grant. If you're a dude, Audrey Hepburn.

 _Galadrisfedoraconversa had never been particularly popular in the village where she had grown up. It didn't bother her, she was usually just too busy to make friends. Besides, she had a boyfriend._

 _She loved her boyfriend, and he loved her. They were perfect for each other, together, they would have rewritten the stars. The problem was, unfortunately, that the rest of the village did not like their visions for star revision._

 _"Fedora!(that was his pet name for her) I have created my masterpiece!"_

 _"Oh,Spike, it's wonderful. Can you believe it? We are the world's first genetic engineers, and this is the world's first snake spider hybrid! What should we name it?"_

 _"How about we name it Petunia?"_

 _"I love it! I think the mayor will, too. Maybe it will scare away the neighboring villages."_

 _"Perhaps. Fedora, there is something I want to ask you..."_

 _"Yes??"_

 _"Will you marry me?"_

 _"YESS! I will Spike! You were the only one for me, with your Hydra tattoo, knife throwing skills, transparent ear lobe, and adorable nerdy brain! I love you so much...let me go grab my wedding dress over at my house."_

 _"You already had a wedding dress?"_

I just _knew_ you would propose. You're a little predictable, darling. After I grab my gown, we can run over to the courthouse."

She went back to her cottage, leaving the scientific lab where they had spent so much time together. She was so excited, Spike was her best friend, and she knew they would be a great family.

When she got back to the lab, there was a nice cozy fire on the ceiling and walls, with all of her friendly neighbors standing around yelling, pitchforks in their hands.

"Spike!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is my fiancée okay?"

The villagers glared at her angrily. "There is the witch! Burn her too!"

"I'm not a witch, I'm a mad scientist! Spike, where are you?"

Her dearly beloved man had burned to death, or, hopefully, met a less painful demises of smoke inhalation. Galadrisfedoraconversa knew then that she needed to run, and run she did. She left that village as quickly as she could, still clutching the white dress.

Now, many years later, she wore that dress. She ripped it at the knees so she could run, and painted it red. Red for the blood of Spike, who slipped through her fingers far too soon. She had run and joined the Fellowship, and found herself falling for the handsome elvish prince. Since he wasn't quite as scientifically minded as Spike was, Legolas would just have to be her experiment.

What did it take to change someone, to break them?


End file.
